| by Jeremy Ahrens theCitizen
The Local is my favorite downtown happy hour spot. My reason for this is one fold. The Local has a make out room. It's called various things. The kissing room. The red room. That room where the girl with an overbite dry humped me. Whatever. It's dark, has a couch, and you can get into some light petting without concern. Here is why it's so great. You have been talking to a girl or boy at the bar for an hour. You are into each other. She likes your eyes. You like her stately equine features. You both want to make out, but the transition is going to be awkward. So you blurt out "hey, let's go make out." It sounds silly, but a bar having an actual make out room will increase your chance of actually making out with this person by a factor of 10.
Happy Hour: Pints are 3.50 and you can order 5 mini-burgers for 5 dollars. The pizza is good too. Despite this, I always leave the Local with a large bill.
Hot Girls: There are tons of hot girls at the Local. The Hilton hotties are my favorite. Plus there is the ever present 40 year old rebounding Mom. She is probably on a horrible date that started at Orchestra Hall and is ending with some conversation about her date's boat. Help turn her night around with an invitation to the kissing room. Make your move when her date goes to the bathroom to sea salt his comb-over.
Hot Guys: 22-29 year old single Target boys with an eye for fashion, bangin' hair, and Pal Zileri suits. All are pretty good looking, cool, and will probably compliment your shoes.
Kissing Room: I know. I already discussed it. But it is the best thing that has happened to me all year.
Decor: It's an Irish themed bar. It's a 4 on a scale of 1 to really Irish. It's not all that authentic and you certainly are not going to get a free shot of whiskey on Bloomsday. But the bar is dark mahogany and they serve Guinness like everyone else. The Local also has semi-private nooks with couches. Theory has led me to believe that the nook is a great place to have a group hang. Experience has led me to believe that it's just a great place to get dumped by your GF.
Conversations: Work. There are 15,000 Target employees working downtown and a lot of them go to The Local at 6. The Local at 6 is the next best thing to actually working at Target Plaza. If you have no idea what I am talking about, you need to seriously consider re-setting your top priorities. Start it off by quitting that 'awesome gig' you have going in Golden Valley. You are missing too much, Sunshine.
Best night at The Local: I was really drunk. Threatened a guy with a butter knife. Got kicked out of the kissing room for taking my shirt off.
Worst night at the Local: I was really drunk. Threatened a guy with a butter knife. Got kicked out of the kissing room for taking my shirt off. send in your own review of this bar! |
